Chapter 2: a decision or a commitment?

No matter how many times I might have read the same story in the past, there is always more that I can learn from it. This true for the story of Nicodemus .

It is a story of a religious leader who comes to Jesus at night in order to have a DTR moment with him. This seemingly innocent and insignificant detail is actually a very important one when you think about. I mean why come at night? Why not during the day? A man of Nicodemus's statue could approach Jesus whenever he wanted. But you see if he came during the day, it would come at a cost...his job, his friends, his respect, everything would be hindered or lost if he approached Jesus in the light. This is why he went a night, in the darkness, when no one would see him and when it would cost him least.

This is what I do. I come to Jesus in the secret, and at the moments which will cost me the least. However this is not what Jesus asks of us. To truly be a follower of Jesus, it means it will costs everything, even our lives. This is a scary thought my friends. I mean I like my life (for the most part) and I like how things are. Am I really willing to cast all of that aside for Jesus. I want to say, I know I should say yes but I am afraid. I am afraid of what that may look like. Of what people may say. I have worn the mask of the Christian for so long that I am afraid of  what people would think/say if they really knew how I felt or what I thought. I'm afraid how my fellow scientists will act. I'm afraid. 

In this chapter, Kyle poses a question that I have been wondering myself but haven't been able to form:

Question 1: Have you made a Decision for Jesus or Have you Committed to Jesus?

Although there shouldn't be a difference there is one. At least here in America there is. I feel like several times throughout my life I have made a decision to believe in Jesus but have yet to actually commit to him. No matter how many times I may speak the words, they are just empty words unless an action follows them.  I think the analogy for this that Kyle presents is very fitting:

"Imagine going to a wedding and watching a groom on his wedding day look a his beautiful bride, and with a tear in his eye he speaks words of devotion '...forsaking all others until we are parted by death.' You're moved by his words and the decision he has made. But imagine if the next week you find out that while the newlyweds were away on their honeymoon the groom was unfaithful to his bride, Suddenly those words would hold no value, They would be worthless. You would conclude that those words he emotionally expressed and publicly declared meant little because they were not validated by faithful commitment." (pg 32)

That's me.
 I'm the groom.

Each Sunday when I take the Lord's supper, I speak the words and ask God to help me be closer to him. To be a follower not a fan. And each time, I get up and leave the church and those words are forgotten. There is not action to support  the words that I cry. I might as well be cheating on God for all that I do.

While looking online for a picture to go with this entry I came across the picture above. I think its very fitting for this entry. For so long I have been interested in Jesus but not committed to him. Help me Lord to stop being a believer in the darkness and to become a follower in the Light.