being commendable

Sorry for not posting an actual post yesterday i didn't get home till 5 and then just didn't feel like being on the computer...i know its not a valid excuse but yeah. To be honest, as i said before i think weekends are going to be hardest days to update this because i have a lot more free time my procrastinating nature is like you can always do it later you don't have to do it right now. but things is that i think i really should do it first thing in the morning everyday and not just during the weekdays because then it allows me to feel more awake and at peace with the world. live and learn i guess....

and now back to Philippians.... (warning this maybe a bit scattered cause i just can't seem to focus today)

Philippians 19-30

In this piece of scripture Paul praises and commends two very important people to him, Timothy and Epaphroditus. Now Timothy is someone who is known to have been connected to Paul and Paul even wrote 2 different letters to him. However, (and this maybe because of my limited biblical knowledge) Epaphroditus is someone that i had never heard of before reading this passage. Both men are regarding highly in Pauls eyes with Timothy being described as "I have no one else like Timothy, who genuinely cares about your welfare. All the others care only for themselves and not for what matters to Jesus Christ....Like a son with his father, he has served with me in preaching the Good News" (v 20-22) Now the part that gets to the most is the part when he says that Timothy genuinely cares for others in comparison to others (like myself i will admit) who care only for themself. I know i have already harped on this before and therefore will not go into too much detail here, but once more i feel like Paul is reminded us (myself included) that we need not focus on ourselves and our own agendas but to focus instead on the will and plan of Jesus Christ. this point is reitterated when Paul goes on to describe Epaphroditus. "For he risked his life for the work of Christ, and he was at the point of death while doing for me what you couldn't do from far away" (v30) To me i believe this is the ultimate sign of commitment to God and his will. when you are so willing to do his will that you will lay down your life for it. And to be honest i am not sure if i would be able to do it. Ever since columbine, in which one of the students asked a group of students if there were any Christains in the room, and one girl stood up, knowing that her life was in balance, and yet still stated that she was a Christain only to later die for her proclamination i have been wondering if i would do the same. And i am ashamed to say but i don't think i would. and that makes me sad. for i would love to have a faith so strong that i would give up everything for it, but i am still holding on to this world to strongly for that to occur just yet. Maybe one day i will be strong enough and confidant enough to state otherwise but until then, all i can do is pray and continue my walk with Christ.